Onii Chan
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Those of you who know me well should already know I've been here pretty much since the beginning, surfing through accounts of mine throughout the years. Its been a good, fun few years here but like all the others i feel like i should join them in the graveyard finally.. I'll be retiring from the RP for good this time, I'll be searching for a gifted coder to continue my beloved bio shop that i so feel proud of, i'll be also giving away my Haise Sasaki bio that was passed down to me from the famous sensei, Six Paths to someone i feel is of equal worth. To those i've angered, know it was all a big troll, i was simply not saying so to prevent a ban on my account. It was funny to see how people would react to someone acting 1000x times larger of a selective persona, kinda like what filthy frank (rip) did in the day. Know though i am actually republican though i never lied about that part. After some needed time off of the forums i was actively posting on it has come to my attention that i've completely and utterly neglected my entire social life in a sole pursuit of trying to ''reach'' some kinda end goal here, like a endless video game i forced myself to think ''oh i'f i just sit here and play one more battle or if i just sit here and type up some more ideas or make more bios i'll reach the omega end goal''; something i've now come to the realization of is kinda childish in nature and silly. I fell in love with the rp ever since i saw the hall of fame thread, it sparked something within me; a toxic parasite that would not leave me till recently, the overall ideology that i could somehow reach that level if i just push myself even if i didn't like it to try and work to some sort of ''legend'' status. Meanwhile for this pursuit of ''legend'' status on this forum i neglected my girlfriends, friends, family, and other people i hold dear, because of this i had a little more time to post here and interact with all of you. Although it was fun at the time it was just a mere illusion to that fact that perhaps, yes, it was all fun within concept but in reality it was merely self destructive. Perhaps i should've ignored the threads and uprising of some people in the community and just worried about having fun, i've been told many times i take it seriously and perhaps i did.. too much in fact. If only i tried ignoring the growing lust and greed within my heart i probably could have more fun around here and be someone perhaps entirely different than i am now, although my grammar has improved over the years because of this site i feel like the cons outweigh the pros now. I've ideally noticed every time i come back after a break or two i've seemed to let myself be sucked into its cold tight fingers, letting it change me, my personality, and everything like the sort. When i'm not on a forum or neglect the internet a bit more i'm more happy and more.. my true self. Its this that online rp does to me; as some of you know i like to act out my characters in full, and i feel like its this mentality that somewhat helped me get this way. Acting out characters on the daily will change someone, as i reference heath ledger for this as i base him on the means of my practice. I'm now nearing my mid 20s and i feel like as i grow up the people i interact with online are of younger age, and or people who just outright scare me. I feel like my maturity has gotten a bit much to just sit at a desk all day and interact with people i've never met, especially people i very low-key don't really resonate well with anymore. I may act childish sometimes but know when i do its forced to feel like i ''fit in'', dont feel like all i do is act though, those who took the time to talk to me via private know me well enough to know who i really am behind the blinders. Even if i didn't quit now i would've soon anyways, even as i continue typing this it hurts me emotionally, physically, and mentally. As i type now-a-days it feels painful, like i'm being actually forced to do so, like someone is beside me and told me i should only type endlessly or die. This is why i stopped in the first place, this is the real reason why i dont do battles. It hurts sitting here and typing, even typing now my real self in my head is saying ''stop typing and take a break'' my grammar is slowly disappearing as you've noticed and eventually i might just stop capitalizing things and stop using words greater than a 4 letter word. I dont quite understand why this is because i dont have arthritis, perhaps its because i've been doing it for nearly 10 years now and i've pushed myself beyond the expiration date. I have other problems as well that i don't wanna speak about in public here, just know if i didn't quit now i would've anyways soon enough...
I love you all, Sincerely ~ Onii Chan
The things i'm releasing due my departure. . .
I love you all, Sincerely ~ Onii Chan
The things i'm releasing due my departure. . .
- Future Ideas /and or pending customs and others
- Bio shop ownership
- Haise Sasaki Bio
If you want one or more of these please contact me before 48 hours otherwise i'll be giving them out.
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R section next time.
