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[Discussion] Familial Obligations

HENI

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Hey guys. You're all familiar with me by how. I have been having a lot of thought about life lately. In a year or a few years, I will be going on a long road trip with my childhood friend. We want to go away from the stress out on us by our families and social elements.

I believe this would be a chance for me to discover my purpose. It will be the same for him. His family holds him back and so does his girlfriend. I feel the same towards my family. My family loves me. But I feel like I live in a toxic environment. My mom is autopiloting on religious ceremonies, work, and her marriage. But she always depends on me for help. I don't want this to be my purpose in life. It's stressful and turns me into a slave to the family.

My youngest sister doesn't do anything productive. She doesn't do well in school. Parents spoiled her. I am expected to help her with her homework? When I grew up, nobody helped me get my grades. My other sister keeps bringing her boyfriend over. My mom dislikes him. She always tells me how she feels about the guy. But why should this be my concern? I want to focus on my own growth..

This morning she (my mother) told me to build up my credit to buy us a house. She says it's not right to not have a house. I stayed silent. But what she told me is just what she believes. I don't want to be obligated to buy a house, for a family that I don't care about in the least. She wants to live with me? I don't want to be stuck with my mother forever. I love my family. But I am tired of the toxic obligations given to me.

I am waiting for that road trip, to be away from my family. What do you guys think?
 
Dreckerplayer

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Heni said:
Hey guys. You're all familiar with me by how. I have been having a lot of thought about life lately. In a year or a few years, I will be going on a long road trip with my childhood friend. We want to go away from the stress out on us by our families and social elements.

I believe this would be a chance for me to discover my purpose. It will be the same for him. His family holds him back and so does his girlfriend. I feel the same towards my family. My family loves me. But I feel like I live in a toxic environment. My mom is autopiloting on religious ceremonies, work, and her marriage. But she always depends on me for help. I don't want this to be my purpose in life. It's stressful and turns me into a slave to the family.

My youngest sister doesn't do anything productive. She doesn't do well in school. Parents spoiled her. I am expected to help her with her homework? When I grew up, nobody helped me get my grades. My other sister keeps bringing her boyfriend over. My mom dislikes him. She always tells me how she feels about the guy. But why should this be my concern? I want to focus on my own growth..

This morning she (my mother) told me to build up my credit to buy us a house. She says it's not right to not have a house. I stayed silent. But what she told me is just what she believes. I don't want to be obligated to buy a house, for a family that I don't care about in the least. She wants to live with me? I don't want to be stuck with my mother forever. I love my family. But I am tired of the toxic obligations given to me.

I am waiting for that road trip, to be away from my family. What do you guys think?
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*****,

You know what you need to do.

There's favoritism going on. You're older sister is just showing off, she's jealous.You're mom is self-centered, and she's definitely on autopilot...and her reasoning skills are on shut down, as well. And you going off on a trip, is kind of a cry for help.I see what's going on..."you're gonna miss me when I'm gone"...a lack of attention, or center of attention, maybe.These aren't adult ways to handle life, you'll just come back and deal with the same thing...cause YOU won't change...you keep making up these excuses, kind of making yourself out to be a big ol victim.

You stayed silent?I'm sorry, but what good is that to you?Lmao, that's your fault!

I think you need to grow some bigger balls...seriously.If it was me, everyone would be getting exactly what they need.

There's more to the situation than meets the eye.
 
TrueRage

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Heni said:
What should I do for the time being? He still hasn't told me when the trip will begin. I am in community college working on a banking certificate. And I am 24.
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well first get a part time / temp job get a 1 bedroom app get away from mom, but dont cut mom off all the way she seem to count on you alot but that in its self isnt a bad thing just know when to say no, she may rely on you cus your the only one she can but let her stand on her two feet just keep close to help her up if she fall, the trip is good will get you some me time away from it all, familial will allway be there.
 
Dreckerplayer

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TrueRage said:
well first get a part time / temp job get a 1 bedroom app get away from mom, but dont cut mom off all the way she seem to count on you alot but that in its self isnt a bad thing just know when to say no, she may rely on you cus your the only one she can but let her stand on her two feet just keep close to help her up if she fall, the trip is good will get you some me time away from it all, familial will allway be there.
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the "for my mother" mentality. The world doesn't revolve around the mother, being a parent isn't about the PARENT.

You haven't given him anything.

Cut toxic ties off, or SET boundaries. She's the type to sabotage someone else's life because of her own rule-based way of thinking.If you didn't read, well, it's quite obvious she's self-absorbed with a sense of entitlement. She thinks she has a RIGHT to impose her will on someone else's life.

She couldn't care less about him, he's just a puppet to be used at her own dispense.That's what a self-entitled female with a lack of respect for males, is.

His sister sounds jealous and over bearing as ****.She wants attention.
 
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TrueRage

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Dreckerplayer said:
the "for my mother" mentality. The world doesn't revolve around the mother, being a parent isn't about the PARENT.

You haven't given him anything.

Cut toxic ties off, or SET boundaries. She's the type to sabotage someone else's life because of her own rule-based way of thinking.If you didn't read, well, it's quite obvious she's self-absorbed with a sense of entitlement. She thinks she has a RIGHT to impose her will on someone else's life.

She couldn't care less about him, he's just a puppet to be used at her own dispense.That's what a self-entitled female with a lack of respect for males, is.

His sister sounds jealous and over bearing as ****.She wants attention.
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lmao sounds like your speaking of your self , go bash on some one eles you will never phase me immaturity ranting's :salt: boy
 
Brady

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Go down the path your mother wants you to go down and you'll be miserable. Be practical first. If she wants a house so badly, you're going to need more than just good credit, you'll need a stable income and a stable future for yourself, then her. Your mother clearly screwed up since your sister is a disaster and your family doesn't even have a house, which should have been provided by your father, the head of the family.

You can worry about your family, it's in your nature, but soon you'll have a family of your own and what then? What happens when you've funneled so much into your defective mother, father, sister that your wife and kids are struggling. Just go about your business, see where life takes you, and once you're in a proper position to make payments you can start doing that.

Don't be deluded. Your responsibility isn't to provide a house for them, that was what THEY were supposed to get done before you were even born.
 
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