[Discussion] The Difference Between Preference and Discrimination?

CornyRainbow

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So I've seen a lot of threads based on this which is: "Am I racist if I don't date X race". Now usually people like to use the word preference for this situation but let's look at the meaning of preference.

pref·er·ence
ˈpref(ə)rəns/Submit
noun
1.
a greater liking for one alternative over another or others.
"a preference for long walks and tennis over jogging"
synonyms: liking, partiality, predilection, proclivity, fondness, taste, inclination, leaning, bias, bent, penchant, predisposition More


When you have a preference it's in the lines of: "I prefer blonde hair on guys", "I prefer chubbier women", "I prefer green eyes", "I prefer x race over y race"

I can agree that having a preference for another race is not wrong as long as these preference don't stem from deeper issues (But that's another topic for another day) and just that a preference. HOWEVER, it is no longer a preference when you make it the rule. You cannot prefer something you never included in the first place.

So no you can't say you have a preference for Latina women and then in the same breathe say "I would never date a Middle Eastern woman" because you're saying that Middle Eastern Women were never a choice to begin with. If you preferred Latina women that you mean you admittedly like both races of women but Latina women have the upper hand for you.

So no, you don't have a preference. It just means you decided to exclude an entire race of people from forming a romantic relationship with you A,B and C. Do I think it's wrong to do so? Yes, because you haven't met every person from that race to say you don't find them attractive. Because I have preference of race over guys as well. I prefer Black Men over Latino Men because I find black men to BE much more to appealing to my eye HOWEVER I would gladly date a Latino Man if we connected because their ethnic background will not become the rule for me. All in all though it's just my opinion if deciding to not date an entire race is wrong so I won't crucify you for it as long as you aren't being ignorant and using stereotypes for your reasoning instead of just admitting it for what it is.


I do have a question. Would you still claim it as okay if someone was to exclude an entire race from forming a friendship with them? Would it be racist if a black guy decided he could just NEVVVER befriend a white guy? Or Asian girl decided she could just nevvver befriend a Mexican girl because... they just don't look like they fit in her social circle? Or would that call for it now being considered racist and discriminatory? Just something to think about is all.
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Urda

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Simply put, preference is when you like someone for how they act and look rather than single out that one person and show "favoritism" (usually with a particular race), which is called discrimination.

At the end of the day, it's not for anyone to say. It's those people, who choose to exclude certain people, decisions about who they want in their circle. Calling it racist or discriminative is an excuse for you not having your way.
 
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Sakura Michiko

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I find it amazing that I see some people defend dating preferences but some of the same people don't defend them when a person says their parents prefer them not to date certain people. Wouldn't that make these people who defend preferences only under certain conditions hypocrites?

-Situation 1:
Person A : My parents don't want me to date black people
Person B: Oh that's racist

-Situation 2:
Person A: I don't want to date black people. That's just my preference.
Person B: Oh that's fine. If people think that's racist then they are stupid.
 

Adam Driver

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I think color should never be a deciding factor when choosing who'd you like to have some type of relationship with unless you have some sort of skin fetish.
 

DominiqueX

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I think it is okay to feel something like:
"The look/physiognomy of group X is more appealing to me than the looks of group Y." That's preference in my opinion.

But saying something like:
"I can't have a friendship or a partnership based on love with a person of group X/Y, because I don't like their look/physiognomy." That's racist if you ask me.
 

Sakura Michiko

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I think it is okay to feel something like:
"The look/physiognomy of group X is more appealing to me than the looks of group Y." That's preference in my opinion.

But saying something like:
"I can't have a friendship or a partnership based on love with a person of group X/Y, because I don't like their look/physiognomy." That's racist if you ask me.
Okay but how is that not stereotyping? Isn't that saying those group has certain features?Wouldn't that being saying those people look the same? I'm just curious.
 
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Claymantan

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It's always girls that get the brunt of it anyway. I don't really hear girls going around talking about "x men have x feature that is more attractive than y men who have y feature" as often (they still do it, everyone does it, but it seems like guys are doing it way more). It's just some bullsh*t shaming crap, mostly directed at negging women or fetishizing them, and no-one should be getting into this kind of mass prejudice.
 
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kimb

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Preference is without exclusion. Ex. You'll eat any flavored ice cream, but if given the choice, you'd prefer to have strawberry.

Discriminate is to exclude. Ex. I will not eat strawberry ice cream whatsoever.

Same thing can be applied to races.
 
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Sakura Michiko

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Preference is without exclusion. Ex. You'll eat any flavored ice cream, but if given the choice, you'd prefer to have strawberry.

Discriminate is to exclude. Ex. I will not eat strawberry ice cream whatsoever.

Same thing can be applied to races.
No, that's a false analogy fallacy. You can not compare food to humans. Food can not be discriminated against. lol This explains the false analogy fallacy <This can help you to make a better point in the future.
 

kimb

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No, that's a false analogy fallacy. You can not compare food to humans. Food can not be discriminated against. lol This explains the false analogy fallacy <This can help you to make a better point in the future.
So you're telling me my anology doesn't hold up if the strawberry ice cream was replaced by say "Asians"? Honest question.
 

Sakura Michiko

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So you're telling me my anology doesn't hold up if the strawberry ice cream was replaced by say "Asians"? Honest question.
Yes. It's fallacious and fallacious points can not be valid. Like if you told that to an English professor or a debate team leader or something they probably would explain to you why that is fallacious and what logic fallacies are.
 
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DominiqueX

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Okay but how is that not stereotyping? Isn't that saying those group has certain features?Wouldn't that being saying those people look the same? I'm just curious.
Surely it is saying that certain groups of people have certain "features". We can't deny that, for example, asian people tend do have a different eye-form than scandinavian people. Is that offensive? I don't think so. And it doesn't mean that every asian (in this example) looks the same. As a group, they tend to look more similar to each other.. than if compared to other "ethnic groups", because of their physiology. But that's it.

In my first post here I meant exactly this:

Preference is without exclusion. Ex. You'll eat any flavored ice cream, but if given the choice, you'd prefer to have strawberry.

Discriminate is to exclude. Ex. I will not eat strawberry ice cream whatsoever.

Same thing can be applied to races.
_________________________________

I can say that I wouldn't date a black woman because I don't like darker skinned people as romantic partners. I'm excluding every woman that is black, but that's not discrimination, that's just a preference.
^No, that's exactly not what preference is.
In fact, this statement is superficial and discriminatory, because you don't know the person beneath the looks.
 
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The Demon Hawk

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This dating issue is somewhat different. If someone from X race doesn't want to date someone from Y race because of the difference between them, it's perfectly fine and not racist IMO, because in this case, differences actually exist and they matter. But when you create differences based on varying races, that is totally racist. But that's just my opinion.
 

CornyRainbow

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I can say that I wouldn't date a black woman because I don't like darker skinned people as romantic partners. I'm excluding every woman that is black, but that's not discrimination, that's just a preference.
You literally missed the ENTIRE point of the thread. You cannot say it is preference because you were never including dark skin women in the first place. You could prefer lighter skin over darker skin but willing to date both but you cannot say you wouldn't date a black woman and in the same sentence say it's "preference". That's not how the word works.

Stop saying it's you preference when black women weren't a choice to begin with. Call for what it is. Exclusion, in which you decided that no black woman on this earth would ever be your type of girl. And by the way dark skin isn't just with black women. So are you excluding every woman that is dark or do you only make exceptions for the non-black girls because their racial features are more to your liking?
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Does any of this matter? Are you only saying this/making this thread because you were accused of being racist or some sh*t?
I'm pretty sure the title gives away why I made this thread. I've never been accused of being racist or anything so it's not a personal thing. It's a little informational thread to age old saying "It's just my preference" is all. It's not so much about race but more about people hiding behind the word preference.
 
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