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- May 16, 2014
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Greetings From Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!
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After about 2 weeks after it's release and after the hype (along with the box office numbers) has been all but depleted. I went to go see this superhero film that I was greatly anticipating. (I bought a damn Batman t shirt man. Affleck's Batman nonetheless lol) Have to say once you finish the credits there is one thing that comes to your mind. One single word that you say to yourself as the curtain is closing. What is that word? Well read my long ass review to find out loves.
Acting - Most of the time I saw absolutely no problem with the acting. Ben Affleck did an amazing job and by far the best out of the entire cast if you ask me. He just killed it as Batman and is my second favorite Batman at the moment because of it. (Next to my boy Christian Bale. Haven't seen many Batman films >_>.) Superman ala Henry Cavill was pretty good as well. Especially in the scene where the courthouse is exploding. I thought that was a very good moment for him to show his emotional side. There is a lot of good emotional based acting in this film and the film really benefits because of it. Wonder Woman ala Gigabite or Galgodots or whatever the hell her name is did an awesome job with Wonder Woman b. Like I won't lie I really didn't like the fact that she was Wonder Woman to begin with. I mean have you seen the lady from Agents Of Shield b? (Adrianne Palicki) She is PERFECT for the role. Have you seen Ronda Rousey??? She's Ronda Rousey b! But I rest my case. This is a different approach and we'll see just how good she does on her solo act. In this one, acting wise she was okay nothing big or anything she just does pretty average being that she isn't in many scenes that allow her to do anything. On the humor side of things we have a new Alfred. This is one badass Alfred man. Hope he doesn't leave the series after this backlash because the Batman solo film will depend on a good Alfred as well. Now let's get to where things get a bit iffy for a bruva'. Like I was just thinking "what the hell this is completely out of place".... Lex Luthor... Or should I say Alexander Luthor... see, this is what happens when you rush shit b, you get a reborn shell of something we have never even seen done good before. And you **** up the shell, therefore we are not giving a **** about what that shell was before, or whatever they are trying to do with that shell now. I mean Jessie Eisenberg is being Jessie Eisenberg, NOT Luthor. He is being too quirkey trying too hard to be funny and coming off as a Joker impersonator. I mean there is one cringing scene where he is sticking a Jolly Rancher in a guys mouth and I'm just like... wow bro. Really bro? We sticking Jolly ranchers in each others mouths now... You know what. Imma let this picture sink in.
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Smh. Foreshame on Zack or whoever wanted to rush this shit out the gate.
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Cinematography - Have to say they really had it in the bag with this AT FIRST. The movie starts off showing Bruce's parents being murdered and in a very emotional way. Then it shows Bruce being lifted by bats which seemed a bit corny to me at first but then I see he was dreaming or whatever so it didn't bother me as much. The action scenes are really great as well with my favorite most likely being the one with Bruce Wayne driving about the city trying to save his people. That entire scene was damn amazing man I want to just see an entire apocalypse movie with Batman as the lead. Anywho the slow motion shots in this are very great as well, though I wish they would have had a R rated screening because I wanna see tits and blood and stuff. After we get past the good parts what we mostly get is a very patched on feel. Everything feels like a damn jigsaw puzzle of scenes they had to put together. Most scenes just cut into the other without the feeling that it needed to be cut to that shit man. But you know what. I'll save the rest for the Plot section.
Effects - Well here I guess I'll just speak on the whole theater 3d Experience and to be honest the 3D was pretty spectacular I have to say it. I am a man who loves 3D to death and thinks VR is the future lol So to see 3D be still doing so damn great so many years later is a blessing to me. I know it wasn't SHOT in 3D but they did a great job with the parts that were shot in the IMAX cameras and the post production 3D conversion was very well done but not on the level that Marvel movies has done because believe it or not Ant-Man wasn't shot in 3D and look how amazing that is lol. So yea if you do go see this I would say go see it in 3D hell even go to IMAX if you have the money (though spending 60 bucks on this aint worth it IMO)
Plot - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Nice try DC. Nice try. Like I was sitting there thinking. Why am I getting a ****ing headache man did I drink too much Kickstarter? No it wasn't that... it was because there is so much jam packed into the damn film that it's ****ing annoying as SHIT!!! I walked out with a headache man. When you walk out of a movie you should feel like you saw a great film, feel like you can discuss it with your pops or ya girl or ya homies, but oooooh no I layed my head back and tried to take in all the damn ****ery that they tried to throw at us. Damn I felt like neo dodging bullets with the ****ery.
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You don't butcher this bro. When it comes to making a movie good man you have to make sure the backbone is built before you begin to work on the flesh. Because the flesh isn't built on nothing b. You need to have stature to this shit b. I am offended by the amount of shit thrown at me. This ain't a Zoo! I'm not a damn monkey! I know what you're doing DC! You're trying to play catch up with Marvel and now you have suffered from it. GREATLY.
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And I wonder why? :wut:
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And at the moment it's at 29% Critic and 70% Audience. I personally don't look at the audience side of things unless the trailers are giving away things that would affect the film's final verdict. So what happened with Terminator Genysis happened with BvS I think. Though most of the flack BvS is getting is damn deserving LMFAO Because man is the plot everywhere. One second you're in a dreamscape and you see Batman fighting against an evil Supes and the next minute you see The Flash attempting to set up Injustice. Then they sling you into another damn Lex scene with him trying to seem manic and Joker again. Then they attempt to rush to Wonder Woman who receives the leaks of the Justice League trailers. Only one worth it was Cyborg to be completely honest him and Batman are the only ones that look respectable at this point. (Did you hear Cyborgs voice???? WHOOO SPOT ON!) And my goodness after all of that treacherousness we finally get to what this movie promised. Batman versus Superman! Yea and the fight begins!!!!... and ends in about 5 minutes.... you know what... **** this movie yo LOL are you kidding me right now? I take shits longer than that fight scene. Good grief was I just dissapointed. But the scene at the end with Batman yelling about Martha was another emotional moment. I mean there are hidden things here and there that are great like the fact that Clark and Bruce's mom have the same name. I mean that scene really gets to you but at the end of the day folks you not giving enough of a shit about this because you have only seen one movie. Man of Steel. No Batman movie, no Man of Steel 2 no Wonder Woman or anything for that matter. You don't even get Lex Luthor in this film. You get a villain who has absolutely no motivation whatsoever. He just does things. Why are you doing this stuff bro? I think there is a scene about demons and angels but that's not explaining his reasons he's just being manic again. I mean there is no reason he needs Zods body. Or he needs to go on the ship. Or he needs BvS. He just. Does things.... no motivation man... whatsoever. And then the Kryptonian ship oh lord don't even get me started on that garbage. Why didn't Superman dump that in the ocean or destroy it. Oh yea... PLOT. Why didn't Superman just hold down Batmans hands and tell him about Martha? Oh yea... PLOT. Why is Luthor doing shit just because. Oh yea...
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Wish we had some boobs up in this... probably would've raised the score... Um anyways where was I oh yea the bullshit plot holes and using Superman as a plot device really turned me off to the entire film. Then at the end we get to Doomsday who is created by a Kryptonian ship that accepted fingerprints from a damn human being using zods fingerprints and the fact that the mechanical AI didn't even care it was a human being and at 37% power it charged up gave Lex all sorts of dangerous information, let him take control and let him create a ninja turtle named Doomsday. Man... What the hell... like I am so glad I watched Arrow season 4 before this because I had to prepare to watch the plot holes b. I mean Arrow has some plot holes but this... good God and I thought Arrow Season 3 was bad xd
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LMFAO but let's just get to the final verdict. I went in with absolutely no expectations and still walked out disappointed. I mean cmon they didn't even kill off superman all the way then go and put all of his sequels on hold. Superman was used and abused by Warner Brother LMFAO this is like if Marvel made Iron Man, then made Civil War straight after LMFAO I would be shitting all over that movie. I mean my dad fell asleep while watching this shit go down there was just too many scenes put into this it was dragged on and on. Good grief all I wanted was Batman V Superman and they even ****ed up that for a nika. :nuts:
5/10
This was exactly what The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was. A got damn mess. A beautiful 3D mess. But a mess nonetheless. So what did you all think of the film? And what do you think of a bruvas review? Is Superman still alive? Do you think Ben Affleck will stay on suicide watch? Find out next time on AMC's The Rotten Kryptonian!
Ok one more. At least we have X-Men and Civil War to look forward to right?
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- Dissapointment!
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