I'd rather follow the try-and-error system than not doing anything and just continue to watch how these barbaric governments treat their people, while most of the citizens are fine with it. What should they have done different? Talking does not solve these things, a culture won't change when people just talk and do their insidious hand-shakes in front of a camera.
Of course it is horrible how many people had to die because of this wars, that's not a question. But if humans manage to get over this global crisis and millions if not billions of future-people in the middle east can finally live without being persecuted for their sexuality, their skin-color or belief/non-belief, then I think the end justifies the means even if it sounds harsh.
The number one priority of us humans should be a world where innocent, harmless people can live how they want, in peace and without fear. And any part of the humans that is in the way, either has to change or needs to be removed.