[Discussion] Would you date single mothers?

[Yubel]

I understand that. Your reasoning behind it is terrible is all.

Your reasoning is much worse, you would put up with it if you cared for her assuming the first guy didn't.
Instead of walking away, you're guilt-tripping yourself into the relationship. She doesn't even have to do it.

 

[Punk Hazard]

Your reasoning is much worse, you would be put up with it if you cared for her assuming the first guy didn't.
Essentially you're guilt-tripping yourself into the relationship, she doesn't even have to do it.

No? I couldn't care less if the first guy cares for her or not. My reasoning is that if I found that I cared about her and I cared about the kid, then it wouldn't matter to me that he or she isn't my own child, so I would stay. I also wouldn't let the fact that she has a child deter my interest if it's there or stop my feelings from developing if they are. Of course, this is if I'm ready for the child.

Your reasoning is that if she has a child, then there's no future for you two, which isn't true at all.

 

[paratise]

I am a woman, i do not like idea of being with older guys or can take care of a kid since i am an adult for few years and still studying. But if i fall deeply i would be with them.

If it is like 5, 10 years from now i would probably not care much, i want to adopt a child someday so i do not have problems with "raising someone else's kid".

I think many people here are young (teens and early twenties) so age factor makes you people decide. If you were 30 or something things would be different.

Any one of us might end up as a single parent one day, just saying.

 

[Yubel]

No? I couldn't care less if the first guy cares for her or not. My reasoning is that if I found that I cared about her and I cared about the kid, then it wouldn't matter to me that he or she isn't my own child, so I would stay. I also wouldn't let the fact that she has a child deter my interest if it's there or stop my feelings from developing if they are. Of course, this is if I'm ready for the child.

Your reasoning is that if she has a child, then there's no future for you two, which isn't true at all.

My reasoning takes into account my self respect, I would hate myself if I went into that relationship.
Also I make the choice to care about someone, it's not something that just happens.
There are great single mothers out there though, this is nothing personal to them.

 

[Exaar]

My first instinct would be leaning to towards no but i would at least get to know her and see what she is like as a person before i cast my final judgment.

Also depends on how many kids, if a person has like 3 or more kids, I would find it very difficult to get over. I'm not a huge fan of kids so the idea raising/accepting someone else's kids wouldn't exactly be an easy task.

 

[Magikarp]

I would, I always wanted to adopt though and be a single father (I like being single less drama,suspicion etc). However, that doesn't rule out what destiny has in mind for me I wouldn't mind as long as her baby father(s) and her had their distance and personally I wouldn't want 2 because I would want one and I don't want to raise more than 3 kids.

 

[Karna]

No, not because other guys kids and stuff but because I am bad influence on kids.

 

[Jazzy Stardust]

I did twice infact, the first one I just said hi to her kids but we weren't serious. Second one wanted me to be a father to her son, and I'm just too young, she was to but I wanted do everything before I have kids. Plus I'm too selfish to be a father now.

And after the second one that breakup was too crucial. I'm not trying that again, plus I want kids with my blood to pass on.

 

[YowYan]

I dated this girl 6 years older than me and she was just..wow.
Anywho, she has a kid and I wasn't in a state of mind to be able to give her what she wanted/needed so I did not pursue contact after that date.

 

[KCN]

I am a single father of 4.

I dated a single mother of 2.

It was pretty cool man. I'm black and she was Asian, so our kids calling themselves brothers at school was a little weird to the other children. I thought it was awesome; like, a recreation of rush hour only this time it was 4 black kids and 2 Chinese kids.

 

[Punk Hazard]

My reasoning takes into account my self respect, I would hate myself if I went into that relationship.
Also I make the choice to care about someone, it's not something that just happens.
There are great single mothers out there though, this is nothing personal to them.

Yeah, I understand that. I'm not saying you feeling that way is shit, just why you feel that way.

When I say care about someone, I mean develop romantic feelings for them. A physical mental and emotional attraction and attachment to them, which is something you can't control when it comes to who, when, why and how much. But I'm sure you're gonna contest this, and I'm not gonna argue about this, so heads up, if you disagree, you can save yourself time and ignore this part.

 

[iNotorious]

Why not? There's nothing wrong with it.

My dad married my mother after he and my step-mother divorced. Right now i love my mother, my step-mother and my step-brothers. Her new husbando is cool though.

Plus milf.

 

[The Work]

The mom has to be hot as hell.

 

[YowYan]

I am a single father of 4.

I dated a single mother of 2.

It was pretty cool man. I'm black and she was Asian, so our kids calling themselves brothers at school was a little weird to the other children. I thought it was awesome; like, a recreation of rush hour only this time it was 4 black kids and 2 Chinese kids.

Accidentally disliked your post ._.

 

[Kαmi]

Not at that point in my life yet. I can see myself later in life doing it on a serious level but as of now, I wouldn't have it serious.

 

[Yubel]

Yeah, I understand that. I'm not saying you feeling that way is shit, just why you feel that way.

When I say care about someone, I mean develop romantic feelings for them. A physical mental and emotional attraction and attachment to them, which is something you can't control when it comes to who, when, why and how much. But I'm sure you're gonna contest this, and I'm not gonna argue about this, so heads up, if you disagree, you can save yourself time and ignore this part.

It's basically settling, some dudes don't have a problem with it but it'd lower my self esteem. Especially when I'll be running after her kid playing daddy. No, I can't do it.

I'm not going to argue with your view on romantic relationships and love. Just know that even emotional choices such as being attracted to someone have a reasoning of their own. Proof of that is the fact that they could easily change given the circumstances, that's why I don't believe in romantic love.

 

[Howard]

My dad married my mother after he and my step-mother divorced. Right now i love my mother, my step-mother and my step-brothers. Her new husbando is cool though.

Plus milf.

That sounds all kinds of wrong when read quickly.

 

[Yubel]

That sounds all kinds of wrong when read quickly.

All kiiiinds.

 

[Callypigia]

You must be young. Once you get to a certain age most single females have a child. I suppose you could be that creepy 38 year old who hits on 22 year olds at the pub. You might get lucky and find a woman who focused on her career first and doesn't have children yet.

Personally I wouldn't care about raising someone else's child, but it's not preferable. You have to really feel a connection to the child though and have good boundaries with the child's parents. Statistically the most challenging problem second marriages face is step children. It's not necessarily that people don't love the children, it's that disciplining someone else's child is very difficult unless the roles are properly defined for the birth parent and the step parent. You have to find someone with compatible parenting styles as well. It's very frustrating to be married or even date someone who manages (or doesn't) their child totally different than you would raise your own.

 

[Yubel]

You must be young. Once you get to a certain age most single females have a child. I suppose you could be that creepy 38 year old who hits on 22 year olds at the pub. You might get lucky and find a woman who focused on her career first and doesn't have children yet.

Personally I wouldn't care about raising someone else's child, but it's not preferable. You have to really feel a connection to the child though and have good boundaries with the child's parents. Statistically the most challenging problem second marriages face is step children. It's not necessarily that people don't love the children, it's that disciplining someone else's child is very difficult unless the roles are properly defined for the birth parent and the step parent. You have to find someone with compatible parenting styles as well. It's very frustrating to be married or even date someone who manages (or doesn't) their child totally different than you would raise your own.

It'd be ideal for a man in his 30's to marry a woman in her 20's. There is nothing creepy about it, also all that just doesn't seem worth it. I'd rather have my own kids with someone who wasn't dumped or left the father of her kids.