A God in peril

Namar

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Hello Narutobase,

I'm not going to get you bored with nonsense. Hello.

Imminent danger!

The realm of Gods is in danger. One God is to blame. He loved everything there is to love and grew in inner power as well as external power. He broke an ancient rule! Gods would leave for eternity the other realms and only by death the others would reach their such beautiful world.

By breaking these rules he startled the anger of the other Universe which gathered all it's powers to destroy the Gods realm but these Life Forms never heard of a species as old as the Gods fairy tales extend.

Suddenly the rule breaking God is trapped as the others betray him to regain their such eternal life. Universe against Universe ? It was never meant to be like this. They fooled the strongest Realms to divide and made them feel unique trough one primitive feeling. The feeling of being above someone else.

Well, you probably think by now. If he is the strongest God from breaking the rule and gathering inner and external power. Why is he losing ? Well that is an easy question.

Now, for the rest of the story:

The Gods are not infinite beings! Yes, they lack infinity but bathe in immortality. They are their own undoers but, not by choice. But, by fate and evolution.

As our lone wolf is about to reach it's execution which meant sealing his life force in to eternal prison. A bright high speed rotating light started to show. And all it remained behind it, was the wind still moving.

In another world ? Why all that remained of that light was the wind moving.
There is a hand on the immortal and a voice is being heard in his mind: Now, i'll go and eradicate all the traitors and the Narrow minded.

NO! Says a voice. You are not ready! First, you must learn to control your infinity.
The mysterios person replies back: I know, but, if they destroy your realm this Universe will never be able to rebecome a whole.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So many eons and you still do not understand what Infinity is. Why do you think you are the sole survivor of the First Three Gods Creations ? I will never be what you are, young boy. My brain is wired differently than yours. I have the brain of a creator, the brain of uniques. But, you. Your kind is the kind of the endless which are long gone from all the other universes except for one living soul and body. You!

Let them take it. What you can do is far beyond their imaginations. I'll show you a part of when everything was divided so that you will understand why you are still not ready.

Where is he taking us ? What is he showing us. Could it be the mistery that humans search for endless generations ?

- This, my boy is the day you were born and as you deepen your senses inside this memory remember to feel both hate and love since they are important and what you will choose is what will shape the future of every living being.

A newborn! The first newborn that laughs instead of crying. A descendant of the infinites but a servant of fate until he will learn to become what he is. His father and mother are proud but they know very well what lies ahead; their own, deaths.

The young one speaks: You said to feel hate.. I feel tremendous hate. Such hate that i could torn galaxies in half.
God: Yes, but, do you feel the love of those who knew that will die after your eyes will open ? One day i will show you eaxctly what happened but, for now you must remember what i always showed you. The circle of light in which you were protected from anihilation. This, my boy is what makes you the most important being. You cannot be killed by anything except one dagger which is a part of you.

I will continue the story after i get some feedback from the community. Please give positive as well as negative remarks.

With Respect,
Matei Demetrescu
 

Germanicus

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It's in the writers section.

I guess this is what people told Kishi before making millions of dollars with Naruto. :)
Get used to the trolling. It's half of what comes around the writing section, unfortunately. Personal respect of the work of others doesn't rank high here.

I'll leave some quick thoughts, since, I won't lie, I mostly skimmed due to it being late, so I haven't given it the full reading it deserves. I will say that premise bears interesting signs. I've always been a fan of description that seems almost spiritual and philosophical in its roots, and I find this to be similar tp those lines. There is some ambiguity about what is actually going on, the picture isn't totally clear, but that's fine, and is probably intentional. This is an introduction, I would guess, and as such is less a clear picture of the story and more about introducing concepts.

There were small errors with punctuation and such. Nothing major, most people around here, myself included, have em. Some extra time editing couldn't hurt though.

All in all, I thought it was a nice start. If you feel up to it, I wouldn't mind seeing it continue. You have some good, raw talent within your words. Keep it up.
 
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