Help creating a badass villain character/Naruto OC?

Hinageshi

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Okay so I have a fanfiction, which I've only posted two chapter so on here, but it's already on chapter five on FF. And the story is an action/adventure that has Sakura's experiences as the main character but the next arc of the story, which takes place between Wave and the Chunin exams, is a Team 7 experience. What I need help with? Designing a temporary Akatsuki's abilities, because we know Kakuzu killed his previous partners. I wanted to include one of them.

Basically, Tsunade and Part1!Kakashi vs. Kakuzu and Shizune and Team 7 with notuselessthoughstillweak!Sakura vs Akatsuki member.

The point of Team 7's battle is not to win, it's to get away from the Akatsuki, who honestly doesn't want to exactly fight them because 1. Naruto's not their jinchuuriki and 2. This all started because of Kakuzu's greed(Tsunade has a bounty on her and Team 7 have an unrelated mission with her because of the problems that arose in the Wave mission).

Here's what I have so far for this Akatsuki:

Ex-Kumo-nin
Tall, very dark-skinned woman with black microbraids(or twists or dreads) and little silver beads among them.
Uses a naginata for fighting, a naginata that conducts electricity and is capable of producing sonic shock waves with it ('thunder style'). mid-range. Capable of knocking back opponents lots of feet away and if they get close they get cut with a naginata or stabbed with a dagger she keeps.

Personality: snobby noble woman. Speaks in a royal-we like way (sort of a grown up rebellious 'ojou-sama' trope). Disparages people as peasants yet dislikes the systems around her. I envisioned her as someone who is related to Lightening's Daimyou, maybe a niece, who disliked the nobility and thought the Shinobi system would be better, but found herself disillusioned by that life too... Yet she still carries disdain for those of 'lower' birth. I think she dislikes Kakuzu's money-grubbing and probably is one of the members who cares for Pein's goals, though not knowing much for them. A lost soul concealed under snobbery and a harsh exterior...

She eventually gets killed by Kakuzu, but I'm still deciding whether to make it off-screen or on-screen. I know her heart eventually ends being used as a mask by Kakuzu because he looses one or two in the fight with Tsunade and Kakashi,

Anyway, come on NB! Anyone have any ideas for techniques she could use or names for them? You can make them ridiculous she's a foppish character. Hell even critique what I have for her so far. I want people to be able to picture her in the manga/anime, like someone who could exist in the narutoverse.
 

Akame

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Final Breath: a technique in which all five elements are combined to form an imploding light tht goes into the air, after everything within 500 meters is sucked in, it explodes destroying everything around. Basically a mini nuke.
 

Wparker6804

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I'm writing an original(ish) adventure fantasy & a great villain is really hard. Here are the elements I used:
-Depth & character--no cliché or two dimentional villain
-unexpected, misunderstood or unpredictable
-Sympathetic monster, glorious b@$t@rd or all out monster
-Powerful if need be, but not a straight out OP villain--make it possible to be beaten by more than just equal/more power & craftiness

Man I hate auto correct.
 

Espadara Uchiha

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Maybe an electrical attack that consists of the initial attack, but when the opponent thinks it's over, than the 'shockwave' part occurs?

And I suggest having her killed by Kakazu. She'd probably complain to him about having to go on the mission, Kakazu is already pissed about the failure though. She keeps complaining, and Kakazu says that as a niece of a Daimyo an a missing nin she has a nice bounty, reaffirms his statement with the fathers missing a lightning heart, and rips her heart out, giving the body to the bounty office.
 

JCW

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Akuma- as the fight goes on and the more she becomes less lady like, her "akuma" mode activate. Once she has lost it, her body is engorged in flames and has a chakra inferno sword.

Inferno blade- 3400 degrees within 2 meters all all direction from her body

Draw back- akuma mode makes her fatigue quickly until she learn how to use it.

Full akuma mode- inferno outfit

Inferno jacket
Inferno fish net leggings with short shorts
Inferno gloves with spikes around wrist part
Inferno face mask covers mouth like kakashi has his.
Inferno boots- high heel boots that has has a flaming design on them with small spikes around rim


Once the outfit is complete, she will be in akuma mode
 

Hinageshi

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I'm writing an original(ish) adventure fantasy & a great villain is really hard. Here are the elements I used:
-Depth & character--no cliché or two dimentional villain
-unexpected, misunderstood or unpredictable
-Sympathetic monster, glorious b@$t@rd or all out monster
-Powerful if need be, but not a straight out OP villain--make it possible to be beaten by more than just equal/more power & craftiness

Man I hate auto correct.
I think the fact she gets killed inevitably by Kakuzu might give her sympathy, but she's definitely in the story for too short of time to me to give the reader a serious backstory... Maybe if I make her a little hesitant about attacking what seems like fresh genin? So she has some morals, despite being Akatsuki.

Final Breath: a technique in which all five elements are combined to form an imploding light tht goes into the air, after everything within 500 meters is sucked in, it explodes destroying everything around. Basically a mini nuke.

This sounds amazeballs but definitely not something this character can do. i'd keep that attack though, it sounds super destructive.

Maybe an electrical attack that consists of the initial attack, but when the opponent thinks it's over, than the 'shockwave' part occurs?

And I suggest having her killed by Kakazu. She'd probably complain to him about having to go on the mission, Kakazu is already pissed about the failure though. She keeps complaining, and Kakazu says that as a niece of a Daimyo an a missing nin she has a nice bounty, reaffirms his statement with the fathers missing a lightning heart, and rips her heart out, giving the body to the bounty office.
Ahh, that sounds pretty cool. Maybe a quick swipe with her naginata that produces what seems like a lightening current coming from the blade and around 5 - ten seconds later, everything in a 270 degree span from her gets the brunt of a shockwave and gets blown back and crushed with crippling force. Definitely the type of thing to obliterate hordes of kage bunshin.

Yeah. I'm debating having the fight called off (or the reason she stops trying to kidnap Naruto) because earlier she contacted Pein to complain about Kakuzu when he first decided to go after Tsunade and Pein gets back to her mid-fight (projection) and later chews out Kakuzu. Along with her complaints, I'm sure she'd have a gory death =.=
 

Hinageshi

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Yep! Only reason Hidan gets away with pissing off Kakazu is because he's immortal. Nobody else has that excuse.

What is your story called, by the way?


It starts off weird and slow with Sakura meeting a weird old lady in the Land of the Waves....
and then by chapter Five (the last one I posted) Sakura's life is forever changed and the narutoverse is screwed over (if you read to the end of chapter five you'll probably get why). I intend to have Team 7 become much more powerful and competent in this, within reason of course.
___

Here's an image of a naginata to show what she primarily fights with and help ideas flow. I imagine her's to be a foot longer than her but she's very good at using it.

You must be registered for see images
 
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