Drop your best JOKE!

[Everztar]

Alright so i've dedicated this thread to all of us...
because there's so much hate here on the Base...
that i thought...
that WE should share some HAPPINESS and laughs together!

anyway... i'll start off with one then!


"Why Wasn't Jesus Born In Russia?

- God couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin!"

Whose Next?

 

[Akasha]

I would make a great chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. ;P

 

[Everztar]

i would make a great chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon. ;p

haha good one! :d

 

[Kishi Uzumaki]

Not good at making jokes but will try .

heart is like an egg , if fallen gets broken

 

[reizon]

I don't know, but I have a feeling that you might have heard it before...but anyways here it is...


"Why Wasn't Jesus Born In Russia?
- God couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin!"


ps, the joke is the first part incase you dint figure it out.!!

 

[- J AV -]

Principal to Parents of 6th Grade student

Principal: Pease teach your son some manners. u_u

Parents: why? What happened?

Principal: look this

---

---

Name: Jhon
Surname: Brayan
***: Never got chance like to do with mam

---

 

[-S-]

What did the ruler say to the pencil? Nothing. Rulers can't speak.

 

[Cam]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

 

[Wabbit]

A group of soldiers being prepared for a practice landing on a tropical
island were warned of the one danger the island held, a poisonous snake that
could be readily identified by its alternating orange and black bands. They
were instructed, should they find one of these snakes, to grab the tail end of
the snake with one hand and slide the other hand up the body of the snake to
the snake's head. Then, forcefully, bend the thumb above the snake's head
downward to break the snake's spine. All went well for the landing, the
charge up the beach, and the move into the jungle. At one foxhole site, two
men were starting to dig and wondering what had happened to their partner.
Suddenly he staggered out of the underbrush, uniform in shreds, covered with
blood. He collapsed to the ground. His buddies were so shocked they could
only blurt out, "What happened?"
"I ran from the beachhead to the edge of the jungle, and, as I hit the
ground, I saw an orange and black striped snake right in front of me. I
grabbed its tail end with my left hand. I placed my right hand above my left
hand. I held firmly with my left hand and slid my right hand up the body of
the snake. When I reached the head of the snake I flicked my right thumb down
to break the snake's spine... did you ever goose a tiger?"

 

[MuerteMiAmigo]

so this fish was swimming one day and he hit his head and said "dam"

 

[Everztar]

A group of soldiers being prepared for a practice landing on a tropical
island were warned of the one danger the island held, a poisonous snake that
could be readily identified by its alternating orange and black bands. They
were instructed, should they find one of these snakes, to grab the tail end of
the snake with one hand and slide the other hand up the body of the snake to
the snake's head. Then, forcefully, bend the thumb above the snake's head
downward to break the snake's spine. All went well for the landing, the
charge up the beach, and the move into the jungle. At one foxhole site, two
men were starting to dig and wondering what had happened to their partner.
Suddenly he staggered out of the underbrush, uniform in shreds, covered with
blood. He collapsed to the ground. His buddies were so shocked they could
only blurt out, "What happened?"
"I ran from the beachhead to the edge of the jungle, and, as I hit the
ground, I saw an orange and black striped snake right in front of me. I
grabbed its tail end with my left hand. I placed my right hand above my left
hand. I held firmly with my left hand and slid my right hand up the body of
the snake. When I reached the head of the snake I flicked my right thumb down
to break the snake's spine... did you ever goose a tiger?"

i don't get the end... Goose a tiger?

 

[Hexuze]

Naruto Shippuden is an amazing series with no plot-holes or ass-pull powerups.

 

[Zee Seh]

Once an Arab was asked his '***' by a person.
Unknown person: ***?

Arab: Once or twice a week. :|

Unknown Person: No! I mean Male or Female? ( =_=)

Arab: Well a Camel would also do.

 

[Sjhsgjhsgjshjshjsh]

Once an Arab was asked his '***' by a person.
Unknown person: ***?

Arab: Once or twice a week. :|

Unknown Person: No! I mean Male or Female? ( =_=)

Arab: Well a Camel would also do.

Not funny >_>
We don't fap on camels .

Now excuse me ,i am going to the sheep Beauty Pageant .

 

[Zee Seh]

Not funny >_>
We don't fap on camels .

Now excuse me ,i am going to the goats Runway .

Did i mention u anywhere.. u see dats the problem. u joke on anyone. they get offended..

---

*Doctor to husband*
Doc: I've a good news and a bad news!?

Husband: Wats the bad news?

Doc: Ur wife has gone to coma. And even if she recovers. Her arms are paralysed. so U have to help her out even in Bathroom. And she lost her Sexual Stimulation. And u cant havessex with her anymore !!

Husband : :dead: And Whats the Good News?!

Doc : I was Just kiddin .. Shez DEAD ! :

 

[Edo Odin]

Barack Obama.

 

[Zee Seh]

Q: Wat does the banana say to the vibrator?

A: Dude why are U shaking. Shez goin to Eat ME! :skorm:

 

[Ψ Veritas Ψ]

Not good at making jokes but will try .

heart is like an egg , if fallen gets broken

Damn you sukk at this mate

But the fact that you sukk so much made me laugh hard "so I guess you succeeded afterall lmao"

but I like your Tom Avy <3

 

[Sjhsgjhsgjshjshjsh]

-----
A woman accompanied her husband to the clinic

-after the doc examined the husband -

The doctor took the wife aside to tell her the Results

And he said :
Your husband suffers Dangerous frustration because of stress at work and home, If you don't do the following he will die without the slightest doubt

And explained to her what to do:

-Let him wake up late whenever he wants
-Always listen to what he say and don't argue .
-Be always In a good mood ..
-Don't ask him to buy you anything.
-Make him tasty snacks and at night make him fancy dinner
-Massage his shoulders every Night

If you keep it to the entire year like this ,I assure you that your husband will recover completely .
And if you don't he will die in a month .


When the couple came out of the clinic

The husband asked his wife:
What did the doctor tell you?

Wife replied:

You are going to die after a month .

 

[Wabbit]

i don't get the end... Goose a tiger?

He caught the tiger's tail thinking it was a snake.. Haven't you seen a tiger :|