I have led several group projects as a student and lead my team to great grades (A+, if you must know). I am well-aware how a leader, no matter what the situation, must respond and act.
As for the rest, then your opinion about Family and Village do not concern me. If a leader knows that his choices will affect his family, he has 'No Right' to have a wife and a child then. All relationships demand responsibility. You putting his onus to protect his family aside is ridiculous. If he doesn't prioritize his family, then who should?
I am not even a Tsunade fan - I hate both of these characters almost equally - but your logic makes little sense. In a militarized set-up, where people are ostracized, a great leader is someone who eliminates the lines and actually listens to his subordinates. Tsunade did just that. She put her foot down and limited Danzo's and Elders powers, something Minato never did.
The situation between Branch and Head Family also greatly improved, proven by the fact that Neji was shown interacting with Hinata's father. Tsunade also realized Naruto's and Sasuke's plight, as marginalized individuals of Konoha's political setup. Any leader who values such individuals has merits of a great leader. Knoha's history is plagued by tyrannical individuals, who hid behind the sham of Will of fire, when their only concern was not to let the Military set ups wane, something Onoki confirmed.
What did Minato do anyway to aid the Hyuas and Uchihas? Oh wait, he did nothing like the leaders before him. His one sacrifice doesn't wash away the blemishes of his pointless reign. As for Naruto convincing Nagato, then that was always a hilariously stupid turn to the story. I am sure ONLY Naruto can accomplish these retarded ventures.