Re: ±±Custom Fighting Styles Submission±±
Genei Ryodan - Phantom Troupe
Type: Nin-Taijutsu
Background: The Phantom Troupe is the name for a gang of rogue ninjas. Most of the members hail from Amegakure and specialize in a secret underground fighting style that depends on the raw chakra of the user, called "Nen". The group consisted of a total of thirteen members, each with a numbered tattoo of a spider on their body. Those wishing to join the group can do so by killing a member, thereby replacing them. If a vacancy opens due to a member dying of other causes, the leader of the group is responsible for finding a replacement member. Although they mainly steal and kill, they occasionally do philanthropic work. The numbers on the spider tatoos of the members of the Troupe follow no visible pattern corresponding to the Troupe's internal rankings or join dates. All of this changed when a revenge seeking Shinobi came along, this shinobi was a knowledge seeker, a fighter, but most importantly one of the most selfish Shinobi ever to live. The shinobi sought vengeance on the Troupe's members for killing his family and friends, successfully and using trickery he managed to trap and eliminate 5 of the troupe's members. This incident raised awareness on the rest of the gang as they swore on avenging their falling comrades. It seemed none of the sides was gonna stop at any cost until avenging for their loved ones. Eight total members of the troupe were left alive, one of them, a tall red haired shinobi seemed to not care for his fallen comrades, and only want power. Using that fact, the vengeful shinobi approached him, and asked to make a deal with the red haired rogue where they each trade one thing for another, the shinobi told the red haired rogue that he can be the head of the troupe, take control of everything and be the leader, all he had to do was teach the vengeful shinobi how to use "Nen" as he needed that style the most to take on multiple gang members without having to use traps and tricks. The red haired rogue agreed and on each weekend they secretly met where they trained and shared info. It took a whole two years for the vengeful shinobi to Master his use of "Nen", being ready for battle the red haired shinobi laughed in excitement as he never imagined this day would actually come where he's this close of taking the leadership of his gang leader.
On a Saturday night, all hell broke loose in the village when explosions were heard, flashes in the skies were seen, every villager left his home in search for safety, it was like a war between demons, 3 parties were involved, One side wished to avenge his family, one side wished to avenge their fallen comrades, and one side lusted for power and leadership. It was simply astonishing, the amount of buildings destroyed, the village's ground was full of holes, full of flames, everything was red, it was a bloody massacre were even the innocent villagers who were trying to escape got killed and dragged in this "War". Fighting for a straight two days, only 4 members of the troupe were left alive, with one of them ( the Red Haired Rogue ) having lost one of his arms still standing strong with a lustful look as he's getting closer to what he wanted. The vengeful shinobi on the other hand has grown tired, his body weakened and it seemed as there was nothing he could do. The odds were against the red haired and the Vengeful Shinobi, where the leader of the troupe was fighting against the Red haired rogue, and two members of the troupe were fighting against the vengeful shinobi. The end seemed near for the two, having realized that he will not succeed, the Red haired rogue looks at the Vengeful shinobi with a sad look as if saying goodbye, with all the life that's left in him, he charges towards the two members of the troupe and by making one handseal the Red haired Rogue releases all the chakra left in him creating a dome like chakra field that traps him and the two troupe members inside it, having taken a last look at the vengeful shinobi, he slams his foot on the ground causing every part of the inside layer of that dome to turn into Long Sharp Spikes/spears that impales everything reaching even below the ground itself, which takes the lives of the three men who were inside that dome, the dome disappears with nothing but blood and bodies full of holes left on the ground.
Unable to understand the Red Haired Rogue's actions, the vengeful man rages with confusion, not being able to focus on the matter at hand, he loses control over his "Nen" chakra in which he releases a powerful gust of pure chakra that devastates even the ground around him reaching the Phantom Troupe's leader, though immediately the Phantom Troupe's leader Dashes backwards into far range from the spherical blast. Shocked and intimidated, The Phantom Troupe's leader charges towards the Vengeful shinobi in hopes of delivering a lethal hit that finishes him off ending all this madness. As He charges towards the Vengeful shinobi, he gathers his "Nen" chakra to his open hand enhancing it's cutting and piercing ability, he then goes to attack the heart of the vengeful shinobi, surprisingly the Shinobi doesn't move a limb as the Troupe's leader's hand pierces right through his heart, he grabbed and held tight on the leader's hand not allowing him to get it out of his heart, the Shinobi then channels his "Nen" chakra to his right fist, and with all his might delivers one last blow to the leader's head causing it to go right through his face and skull creating a hole in the leader's face thus killing him. As both men fall on the ground, and with the final breath the shinobi had left in him, he talks to the sky as if addressing a soul; "Do not follow the vengeance path, for it's nothing but a faster death to a man's heart", saying these words, his eyes finally close looking so peaceful and rested as if his mission was completed successfully.
Three weeks later, screams and shouts could be heard from some tavern in the neighboring village, it was a small kid saving an old woman from some rogues and thieves, his hands were covered with "Nen" Chakra, saving the woman, the kid looks up to the sky as a flash back hits him where he's seen being trained by some shinobi. It seems that during the time the Shinobi and the Red Haired Rogue were not training, the Vengeful Shinobi was going to the neighboring village for some rest, and on his way there he found a lonely child with no family, no mother and no father, he realized it was caused by the phantom troupe or perhaps the war. Without a second thought the Vengeful Shinobi "adopts" the child making him his unborn son, teaching him everything about life and in addition the infamous style of the Phantom Troupe. The kid is later seen as a mid 20's educated man in the village of Iwagakure with a yet to be known future.
Description on the Abilities and Inner Workings of the Style: The concept of this style is rather simple, and I think the last part of the Background explains it all. It's basically the use of an enhanced form of the User's raw chakra, called "Nen" where the user spends years and years of training to get full control and mastery of his raw chakra making it more stable and more versatile to be used in many things rather than "living" and being the "source of life" to a ninja/human being. This style allows you to make a layer of your raw chakra on top of your skin, a VERY thin layer that cannot be seen by the normal eye. This layer will increase the physical abilities of the user, allowing him to strengthen his punches and his body parts for protection, it can also be aimed to cover for example the knee joint allowing the user to gain extra force and momentum which gives a slight momentary boost to speed and the power of the dash/jumps that the user performs.
Example Techniques:
( Genei Ryodan Kamae: Haipā ) - Phantom Troupe Style: Hyper
Type: Supplementary
Rank: A
Range: Self
Chakra: 30
Damage: N/A
Description: The user channels his Nen chakra towards the joints of his knees or his elbows. The user then pushes himself off the ground forward or to any side giving him instantaneous yet temporary boost in speed thus allowing him to dash in a great speed towards the direction he chooses.
†Note: Channeling chakra to both his Knees joints and his elbows in the same turn counts as two moves.
†Note: Can only be taught by Vasto Lordé
( Genei Ryodan Kamae: Hātopiasa ) - Phantom Troupe Style: Heart Piercer
Type: Offensive
Rank: S
Range: Self/Short
Chakra: 40
Damage: 80
Description: The user channels his Nen chakra towards his hand and the tips of his fingers causing his nails to appear to be extending. The user then charges towards his enemy aiming at his vital organs such as the heart, lungs, neck or kidneys.
†Note: Can only be used Three times per battle.
†Note: Can only be taught by Vasto Lordé
( Genei Ryodan Kamae: Rokku heddo ) - Phantom Troupe Style: Rock Head
Type: Offensive/Supplementary/Defensive
Rank: B
Range: Self/Short
Chakra: 20
Damage: 40
Description: The user channels his Nen chakra towards his forhead. This strengthen the user's forhead to a degree where it allows him to smash through rocks and protects him from projectiles aimed at his head, the user can also use it to attack his opponent delivering a Rock hard headbutt that is capable of knocking out his opponent.
†Note: Can only be used Three times per battle.
†Note: Can only be taught by Vasto Lordé
Additional effects and Restrictions:
• Since this style uses enhanced Raw chakra, it is equal to Elemental Chakra, where to disperse the Nen Chakra you need at least a one rank higher Elemental chakra to do that.
• The user cannot use any other custom fighting style in the same turn he uses Phantom Troupe.
• The user must have reached at least 50% completion status in both his Ninjutsu and Taijutsu training.
• The user cannot use any enhancement Taijutsu technique in the same turn he uses Phantom troupe.
• Cannot be used to perform faster handseals, or enhance Ninjutsu/Elemental techniques. It is strictly used on Limbs and joints only.
Declined, do not resubmit.
It seems like you want to combine canon abilities and creating a new chakra "just because", and that doesn't make it viable for a CFS. At best, it can be a basis for a Custom Clan.
Genei Ryodan - Phantom Troupe
Type: Nin-Taijutsu
Background: The Phantom Troupe is the name for a gang of rogue ninjas. Most of the members hail from Amegakure and specialize in a secret underground fighting style that depends on the raw chakra of the user, called "Nen". The group consisted of a total of thirteen members, each with a numbered tattoo of a spider on their body. Those wishing to join the group can do so by killing a member, thereby replacing them. If a vacancy opens due to a member dying of other causes, the leader of the group is responsible for finding a replacement member. Although they mainly steal and kill, they occasionally do philanthropic work. The numbers on the spider tatoos of the members of the Troupe follow no visible pattern corresponding to the Troupe's internal rankings or join dates. All of this changed when a revenge seeking Shinobi came along, this shinobi was a knowledge seeker, a fighter, but most importantly one of the most selfish Shinobi ever to live. The shinobi sought vengeance on the Troupe's members for killing his family and friends, successfully and using trickery he managed to trap and eliminate 5 of the troupe's members. This incident raised awareness on the rest of the gang as they swore on avenging their falling comrades. It seemed none of the sides was gonna stop at any cost until avenging for their loved ones. Eight total members of the troupe were left alive, one of them, a tall red haired shinobi seemed to not care for his fallen comrades, and only want power. Using that fact, the vengeful shinobi approached him, and asked to make a deal with the red haired rogue where they each trade one thing for another, the shinobi told the red haired rogue that he can be the head of the troupe, take control of everything and be the leader, all he had to do was teach the vengeful shinobi how to use "Nen" as he needed that style the most to take on multiple gang members without having to use traps and tricks. The red haired rogue agreed and on each weekend they secretly met where they trained and shared info. It took a whole two years for the vengeful shinobi to Master his use of "Nen", being ready for battle the red haired shinobi laughed in excitement as he never imagined this day would actually come where he's this close of taking the leadership of his gang leader.
On a Saturday night, all hell broke loose in the village when explosions were heard, flashes in the skies were seen, every villager left his home in search for safety, it was like a war between demons, 3 parties were involved, One side wished to avenge his family, one side wished to avenge their fallen comrades, and one side lusted for power and leadership. It was simply astonishing, the amount of buildings destroyed, the village's ground was full of holes, full of flames, everything was red, it was a bloody massacre were even the innocent villagers who were trying to escape got killed and dragged in this "War". Fighting for a straight two days, only 4 members of the troupe were left alive, with one of them ( the Red Haired Rogue ) having lost one of his arms still standing strong with a lustful look as he's getting closer to what he wanted. The vengeful shinobi on the other hand has grown tired, his body weakened and it seemed as there was nothing he could do. The odds were against the red haired and the Vengeful Shinobi, where the leader of the troupe was fighting against the Red haired rogue, and two members of the troupe were fighting against the vengeful shinobi. The end seemed near for the two, having realized that he will not succeed, the Red haired rogue looks at the Vengeful shinobi with a sad look as if saying goodbye, with all the life that's left in him, he charges towards the two members of the troupe and by making one handseal the Red haired Rogue releases all the chakra left in him creating a dome like chakra field that traps him and the two troupe members inside it, having taken a last look at the vengeful shinobi, he slams his foot on the ground causing every part of the inside layer of that dome to turn into Long Sharp Spikes/spears that impales everything reaching even below the ground itself, which takes the lives of the three men who were inside that dome, the dome disappears with nothing but blood and bodies full of holes left on the ground.
Unable to understand the Red Haired Rogue's actions, the vengeful man rages with confusion, not being able to focus on the matter at hand, he loses control over his "Nen" chakra in which he releases a powerful gust of pure chakra that devastates even the ground around him reaching the Phantom Troupe's leader, though immediately the Phantom Troupe's leader Dashes backwards into far range from the spherical blast. Shocked and intimidated, The Phantom Troupe's leader charges towards the Vengeful shinobi in hopes of delivering a lethal hit that finishes him off ending all this madness. As He charges towards the Vengeful shinobi, he gathers his "Nen" chakra to his open hand enhancing it's cutting and piercing ability, he then goes to attack the heart of the vengeful shinobi, surprisingly the Shinobi doesn't move a limb as the Troupe's leader's hand pierces right through his heart, he grabbed and held tight on the leader's hand not allowing him to get it out of his heart, the Shinobi then channels his "Nen" chakra to his right fist, and with all his might delivers one last blow to the leader's head causing it to go right through his face and skull creating a hole in the leader's face thus killing him. As both men fall on the ground, and with the final breath the shinobi had left in him, he talks to the sky as if addressing a soul; "Do not follow the vengeance path, for it's nothing but a faster death to a man's heart", saying these words, his eyes finally close looking so peaceful and rested as if his mission was completed successfully.
Three weeks later, screams and shouts could be heard from some tavern in the neighboring village, it was a small kid saving an old woman from some rogues and thieves, his hands were covered with "Nen" Chakra, saving the woman, the kid looks up to the sky as a flash back hits him where he's seen being trained by some shinobi. It seems that during the time the Shinobi and the Red Haired Rogue were not training, the Vengeful Shinobi was going to the neighboring village for some rest, and on his way there he found a lonely child with no family, no mother and no father, he realized it was caused by the phantom troupe or perhaps the war. Without a second thought the Vengeful Shinobi "adopts" the child making him his unborn son, teaching him everything about life and in addition the infamous style of the Phantom Troupe. The kid is later seen as a mid 20's educated man in the village of Iwagakure with a yet to be known future.
Description on the Abilities and Inner Workings of the Style: The concept of this style is rather simple, and I think the last part of the Background explains it all. It's basically the use of an enhanced form of the User's raw chakra, called "Nen" where the user spends years and years of training to get full control and mastery of his raw chakra making it more stable and more versatile to be used in many things rather than "living" and being the "source of life" to a ninja/human being. This style allows you to make a layer of your raw chakra on top of your skin, a VERY thin layer that cannot be seen by the normal eye. This layer will increase the physical abilities of the user, allowing him to strengthen his punches and his body parts for protection, it can also be aimed to cover for example the knee joint allowing the user to gain extra force and momentum which gives a slight momentary boost to speed and the power of the dash/jumps that the user performs.
Example Techniques:
( Genei Ryodan Kamae: Haipā ) - Phantom Troupe Style: Hyper
Type: Supplementary
Rank: A
Range: Self
Chakra: 30
Damage: N/A
Description: The user channels his Nen chakra towards the joints of his knees or his elbows. The user then pushes himself off the ground forward or to any side giving him instantaneous yet temporary boost in speed thus allowing him to dash in a great speed towards the direction he chooses.
†Note: Channeling chakra to both his Knees joints and his elbows in the same turn counts as two moves.
†Note: Can only be taught by Vasto Lordé
( Genei Ryodan Kamae: Hātopiasa ) - Phantom Troupe Style: Heart Piercer
Type: Offensive
Rank: S
Range: Self/Short
Chakra: 40
Damage: 80
Description: The user channels his Nen chakra towards his hand and the tips of his fingers causing his nails to appear to be extending. The user then charges towards his enemy aiming at his vital organs such as the heart, lungs, neck or kidneys.
†Note: Can only be used Three times per battle.
†Note: Can only be taught by Vasto Lordé
( Genei Ryodan Kamae: Rokku heddo ) - Phantom Troupe Style: Rock Head
Type: Offensive/Supplementary/Defensive
Rank: B
Range: Self/Short
Chakra: 20
Damage: 40
Description: The user channels his Nen chakra towards his forhead. This strengthen the user's forhead to a degree where it allows him to smash through rocks and protects him from projectiles aimed at his head, the user can also use it to attack his opponent delivering a Rock hard headbutt that is capable of knocking out his opponent.
†Note: Can only be used Three times per battle.
†Note: Can only be taught by Vasto Lordé
Additional effects and Restrictions:
• Since this style uses enhanced Raw chakra, it is equal to Elemental Chakra, where to disperse the Nen Chakra you need at least a one rank higher Elemental chakra to do that.
• The user cannot use any other custom fighting style in the same turn he uses Phantom Troupe.
• The user must have reached at least 50% completion status in both his Ninjutsu and Taijutsu training.
• The user cannot use any enhancement Taijutsu technique in the same turn he uses Phantom troupe.
• Cannot be used to perform faster handseals, or enhance Ninjutsu/Elemental techniques. It is strictly used on Limbs and joints only.
Declined, do not resubmit.
It seems like you want to combine canon abilities and creating a new chakra "just because", and that doesn't make it viable for a CFS. At best, it can be a basis for a Custom Clan.
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