[Mystery] [Of Tales and Tastes] The Candymaker - Chapter 3 & 4

[Lili-Chwan]

First thing I noticed, is that there's two grammatical errors in the first two sentence. It should be "its mouth" instead of "it's mouth" and "its senses" instead of " it's senses"

Chapter 3 was intense... The characterization and the description of what's going on is overall nice in this one, and the build up is great.

Chapter 4 - Things are getting real now, something dramatic is bound to happen very soon now I suppose, keep going

I'm getting the feeling that this FF series will have some chapters in total, with each one being short, meaning that you will get the story out there, making it seem long, although it really is of decent length, no? It's a nice strategy nonetheless, although them being of this size, kind of demands quick releases.

I have a question, what font do you use? It's quite nice. It's not Courier New and it's not the standard one either, is it?
And the candymaker... Is he/it based on something?

I use Century Gothic Sorry about the grammar mistakes xD
And yes, something is going to happen soon. I believe chapter 5 to be one of the best chapters of this story. THough I have to say, the last chapters are better than the first ones, maybe I was more inspired in that time.

As for the inspiration for Candymaker, I guess it's my own version of the Bogeyman, tied in with my clan's ability. Can't say there's a specific person or event that inspired me to create it.

 

[Shady Doctor]

OM effin G!

This was a great read Lili, for some reason I like Ayu (the hozuki leader right?) That dude is interesting.
I liked it a lot and I'm anticipating the next release!

*reads it again*
>.>

 

[Lili-Chwan]

OM effin G!

This was a great read Lili, for some reason I like Ayu (the hozuki leader right?) That dude is interesting.
I liked it a lot and I'm anticipating the next release!

*reads it again*
>.>

Yes, I like him too He's so arrogant it just makes me laugh xD

 

[Michael92]

I use Century Gothic Sorry about the grammar mistakes xD
And yes, something is going to happen soon. I believe chapter 5 to be one of the best chapters of this story. THough I have to say, the last chapters are better than the first ones, maybe I was more inspired in that time.

As for the inspiration for Candymaker, I guess it's my own version of the Bogeyman, tied in with my clan's ability. Can't say there's a specific person or event that inspired me to create it.

Hehe, no worries ^_^ I thought I would point them out so that you could perfect it even more
Cool, I like it I personally use Courier New, but I might try this one out at some point.

I see, well he's intriguing nonetheless

 

[The_Empire]

Okay I have to see everything is better when you drunk expect doing a paper for school and fighting.

Now the chapters are getting longer and more details which I like, makes it show how well you could do in a taijutsu battle lol(Taijutsu Over Everything TOE). The Candymaker abilities is around the sense of smell and taste, this is just my guess. Ayu smiling, I have to say he is the rat in the group.

 

[Lili-Chwan]

Okay I have to see everything is better when you drunk expect doing a paper for school and fighting.

Now the chapters are getting longer and more details which I like, makes it show how well you could do in a taijutsu battle lol(Taijutsu Over Everything TOE). The Candymaker abilities is around the sense of smell and taste, this is just my guess. Ayu smiling, I have to say he is the rat in the group.

Well, I don't think you should apply these ninja battle tactics to your exams xD

 

[Vayne]

Once again nicely done, I like the fact that I am not bored when reading through the fan-fic. ^^

 

[Lili-Chwan]

Once again nicely done, I like the fact that I am not bored when reading through the fan-fic. ^^

Lol, well, I guess that's the main objective of an author

 

[Noni]

I have to say your getting better with your writing in every chapter
Very nice job.

 

[Scorps]

Estou a ficar com água na boca á medida que os capitulos vão seguindo... Hummmmmm.....capitulos.... *baba*

Nice work!

 

[Lili-Chwan]

LOL, portuguese, portuguese everywhere!

 

[Gèckö]

Estou a ficar com água na boca á medida que os capitulos vão seguindo... Hummmmmm.....capitulos.... *baba*

Nice work!

engles porfavor!?
nice chapter lili!
I will be continuing my ff soon!

 

[~Uzumaki~]

This was nice. I like your style and the story certainly sparks my interest. Why do I suspect Otaghen is the Candymaker?


Btw---- >_> is this best emoticon ever lol.