Check this out guys

[NarutAwesome]

So I edited this song I wrote, and before I record I need to know if it sounds alright, so basically can u understand it. Thanks a lot of you help out

Advice would be helpfully also. Thanks

It starts at 0:18
[video=youtube_share;FIg4rRTDSdY]http://youtu.be/FIg4rRTDSdY[/video]

Verse 1

To be famous is my goal, it’s my dream, it’s my strive
Don’t care how I get there, I just want success to arrive
and I’ll wait for that day, if it takes me my whole life
so I’ll always keep rapping, practicing on the mic
spittin’ lyrics and verses, in my mirror rehearsing
letting no one hold me back, I don’t care who’s the person
but my mind is already set so why am I still searchin’
until this body stop breathing, until this heart stop beating
I’ll never give this shit up, man, no matter the reason
can you feel what I’m feeling, can you see what I’m seeing
the amount of pain that I felt, call it internal bleeding
people trying to bring me down, but their words are misleading
so nothing can get in my way, nothing is superseding
how much stress can I hold, inside I’m feelin’ so cold
and I’m stuck on this path, like they’re a fork in the road
but I gotta keep fighting, stand with my hopes held high
going after my dreams, staying tough- ride or die
cause one day I’ll be famous, and then I’ll be realized

Verse 2

so I made myself a promise, that was to always stay real
I can’t let life lead me, so I gotta take the wheel
I got these dice in ma hand, that’s why I always stay rollin’
And I stay hitting strikes, even when I’m not bowling
but then why do I feel, like I have a hole in my heart
like - something is missing, a portrait but no art
my insides are twisted, I can’t even think straight
and if I don’t get better, I’ll lose myself at this pace
and I hate how I’m losing faith, cause I’m only rappin’ for my sake
so I gotta do what takes, make it or break
since I’ll never stop
cause they made a mistake, I’m a 1 way train to the top

Verse 3

so I stand here today, kissing my sorrows goodbye
and even though I was hurt, there’s no tears in my eye
I won’t sink to that level, can’t let people see me cry
cause rapping is my drug, it’s what keeps me so high
and I’m not coming down, not to where I use to be
I can’t stay at status quo, cause that was the old me
and I won’t be a number, can’t be another statistic
I’ll make my dreams into goals, and make them goals realistic
so I’ll always follow them, like my shadow follows me
and as I climb up this ladder, I’ll leave my troubles beneath
cause to this very day, I haven’t committed defeat

 

[RaitonOniKairRasengan]

Any rhymes can look good on paper but what is important is delivery and flow which we cant tell from reading the lyrics. But you should record it why not?

 

[NarutAwesome]

Any rhymes can look good on paper but what is important is delivery and flow which we cant tell from reading the lyrics. But you should record it why not?

yeah, I'm practicing before I record cause I want every part to hit well and have a thought out delivery

 

[drxdroopy]

seems good on paper but he said it best, its all about the flow and delivery