Welcome to the "How to be noob guide", the guide that shows you how to be a noob!
Attention!If you have no sense of humour STFU and go to en.wikipedia.org .
Welcome, in this topic, I'll teach you how to be a noob.Are you excited?No? Eh...
If you respect this guide fully you will be known as a "big noob forever".
Enough chit-chat, let's get to work!
These are the main steps you have to follow:
First step:
U mst spyk english prprly.But ta' hell wif dat!Spyk kul lyk thiz!
If u knw tu spyk english allmost da same way dat I do now, den you are a nub!
The unaquiantance with proper grammar is something ABSOLUTELY necessary in the "knowledge" of a noob.
Second step:
ALWAYS during an intense battle/intense naruto-related disscussion post stuff like
Your post will get alot of attenttion and you will surely make many new friends!
Third step:
Everytime you have question, do NOT bother to go to Question and Suggestion area. Go to Who's online list, and if there are any online Mods/GMods/Admin you must go on any other section rather Question area and make a topic, with this format:
E.g.
Title: versuvio plzzzzz ANSWER!!!!!!111311
sUBJECT: PLEASE ANSWER ME!PLZPLZPLZPLPZPLZPLZPLZPLZ
sUBJECT: PLEASE ANSWER ME!PLZPLZPLZPLPZPLZPLZPLZPLZ
And to make sure he sees it, do multiple threads on the same subject.Then he will surely see.
Fourth step:
You are a GREAT player.It doesn't matter if you are a Gennin without any jutsus, you can beat the crap out of Hellsbadass whenever you want, without JUTSUS!That's how cool you are.
Fifth step:
RP isn't just a game, it's you LIFE!
If you RP Sasuke make sure you NEVER laugh!Not in RP nor in real life, always be calm and cool, even if you see no girl likes you because of your achneea(spelling).
If you are Naruto, you PROTECT all your friends from getting hurt.You don't get scared by a mafia boss, you will take him down with your "Rasengan" and "Shadow Clones".
Sixth step:
You MUST have your nindo, preferably it's "I will protect everyone, even if it means I have to die!".And don't worry, no one will know you're actually afraid of your own shadow when you are in the basement, or that you are hiding from your dog.
Seventh step:
Always spam others topics with "bitelinks".
A bitelink it that link, which, if you click, brings you to a game, and the user that posted the bitelink will recieve 0,00001 money/honor/food etc.
Also you should make alot of threads, begging people to click them.Do not worry, nothing bad will happen, in fact the members that will read it will love you!
Eight step:
Always try to help new members.
Since you are such an incredible jutsu-less Genin that can beat anyone, you must definetly help out the new members, because if you do, they will appreciate you very much and give you rep.
This is how you help them:
Make a thread in the Training Grounds called "Random Noob(<- put your name there) trains new member(<- put his name there)" and teach him some self-created, non-existent and non-approved jutsus, that belong to an unexistent Kekkei Genkai, so you can show your "new student" how cool you are.
Ninth step:
Always use alot of emoticons.
Everytime you post, make sure you use at least 20 "
" 's if you are happy, at least 40 "" 's if you are sad and at least 60 "" 's if you are angry, or else the members won't understand your mood.Tenth step:
You have to be a gifiix-ar (GFX-er).
It doesn't matter you don't even know what Photoshop or Gimp means, or what any of them does, you must have your own shop.Of course you must rip all sigs from photobucket/other members and post them in your shop, as your own work.
Also, you must use Naruto Anime screenshots as your avatars and sigs, and say "Sig will come soon" , even if you do know that you can barely paint a blurred square in Microsoft Paint, so it's never gonna come.
Eleventh step:
Whenever you see a pairing thread/hottest girl/hottest guy thread, post hentai pics there, DO NOT WORRY, the mods will love them, and the more you post, the closer you are to becoming a moderator, or why not an admin!
However they must be valuabale hentai pictures, stolen from Hentai Key, and you must also say you drawn it, even though the "Hentai Key" symbol is on them.
Twelth step:
Since you are veteran now (you have a week already), you noticed that above every section there is a post called "Global Rules!Read before posting!".
Ignore it!It's not important!Who is this Domi to try to stop you from your actions?
Thirteenth step:
Everytime you get a PM from a Global Moderator with the title "You have received an infraction at NarutoBase Forums" and when you read the reason (e.g. spamming/flamming etc.), don't panic, it's nothing bad, in fact the mods/gmods and admins show their appreciation to you for posting useless stuff in threads and also they want to give their thanks because, as a gansta' you are, you swear all over the forum.
So basically an infraction is a token of the Staffs' gratitude.
Make sure you collect as many as possible.When you recieve a PM with the title "You have been banned from NarutoBase Forums", CONGRATULATIONS!Now all the mods and admins love you.Also you will realize you cannot post anymore for a certain amount of time, the real thing is that the mods and admins blocked your ability to post, so you have time to reflect on all the good things you've done, because you are such a nice person, NarutoBase just cant get rid of you.
Make sure, once again, that once you get un-banned you reply to "You have been banned at NarutoBase Forums" with a nice and clear: "F*ck you!", that's the only way you can notify the admins and mods that you are back!
Fourteenth step:
When you make a biography, be sure to have at least all of the following Kekkei Genkais and abilities: Rinnengan(and all the six paths), Sharingan (Eternal Mangekyo [who cares you are not Madara, all the mods and gmods love you, they won't mind that you are a Naruto with EMS]), Hyuuga, Kaguya abilities, Sage Mode, Cell Regeneration.
If a mod dares not to approve the bio give them your most original "yo' momma" joke!
Like "Yo' mamas so ugly you became a moderator" , then you will know you showed him/her.Because of the extremely funny joke you made, the mod will feel embaressed and approve your bio.Good job, you are now invincible.
Fifteenth step:
During a fight, when an enemy stabs you in the head/chest/penis don't be afraid to say
*doesn't bleed, stands up and runs towards you with the sword in my head/chest/penis and kills you in one shot just by looking at you*
Sixteenth and last step:
When you want attenttion, make sure you make a thread, complaining about a feature of the site, but don't tell anyone the thing is actually that you want attenttion, just keep complaining.
If someone dares to call you a troll, take their momma' and shove your hand in her! ]:<
Say something cool like "Yo' mommy likes to scream", then he will surely shut up and don't flame back, even more!he will VM you apologizing for being a spazz.
I know Dei Dei is a spazz =3.If you are following this guide TO BLOOD you are a great noob.Congratulations
Last edited:
